Thursday, January 19, 2012

I am a reluctant atheist.  Reluctant because like so many others I see the comforts that religion offers and a part of me wants that.  It can be nice to blame the bad stuff on outside forces or the good stuff on someone looking out for you.  But I see the dangers and hypocrisy of it much clearer than any small good that may exists and on top of that, it just doesn't make any sense.  No matter how many people spout the wonders of "God" or the "power of prayer" the reality is I just don't see the results.  People pray for things all the time, literally at the moment I write this or the moment some else reads it thousands of people are praying for something and while there is no way to do the math on that, I am willing to guess that, regardless of  religious affiliation, there is no increase on getting what you want based on whether you prayed or not.  Life happens, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.  While I may not find comfort in my lack of belief, I do find a certain power there.  There is no man in the sky helping or hindering me based or what "he" sees fit for my life, I have the power to decide what is best and the results, good or bad, are my own responsibility.  Life isn't random either, it is the result of actions from all around us.  The choices we make effect each other in ways we may never see, it is really pretty amazing.  Something you did yesterday or when you were 6, may effect the life of someone today or 100 years from now, and that is just the nature of well nature. 
The quote from Marcus Aurelius, "Live a good life. If there are gods & they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.", pretty much sums up how I feel about god.  I don't discount the possibility that I could be wrong but I would rather live my life true to myself than following the rules of a religion or trying to figure out what's going to make some higher power happy.  I try to live a good life, to do what I think is best for myself and the people around me.  I do my best not to do things to hurt anyone else or that will negatively effect others.  Sometime I fail, I am after all only human, and I must deal with the repercussions.  No amount of prayer is going to change things or make them work out for the best, but sometime even bad decisions have positive results.